Patty is seriously DAMAGED

My special blog on the awesome US drama "DAMAGES"!

DAMAGES
BBC 1, Wednesday 10:45pm

“

All That Crap About Your Family” – 9/10

So with only two episodes left after this week, we are hurtling towards the season finale.
In this weeks’ story we saw the twisted relationship between Patty and Ellen hit rock bottom, in a tense scene where Patty disowns her former protégée. This was great to watch, Glenn Close can play ‘complicated-and-screwed-up’ very well and the look on Ellen’s face when Patty rants on about, “all that crap about your family” is a look of genuine ‘where is this coming from?’ The whole incident causes Patty to remove her latest protégée Alex Benjamin from her empire.

Tom and Patty sent Tessa Marchetti to Antigua to gather the forms she signs which give her access to the Tobin’s money. Lenny urges Marilyn Tobin to tell her son Joe that he is Tessa’s father and not Lewis, but we can tell Marilyn isn’t going to. Both these events lead the murder of Tessa Marchetti in Antigua, at the order of a clueless Joe Tobin and the devious Marilyn Tobin, who is becoming more and more involved as each week passes by. The look on Tessa’s face when she finds Patty’s bodyguard dead and turns around to see a man holding a gun is truly heartbreaking, with cries of, “Oh please no!” is why “Damages” is such good television.

Other revelations in this episode included Leonard Winstone’s father continuing to blackmail his son, with some information yet to be revealed to the Tobin’s or the viewers. Ellen’s dreams regarding a woman who she began to think was her birth mother, turned out to be the woman who was going to adopt her, after Ellen’s parents worked through some serious issues when Ellen was a child.

OK, so this is one of the best TV series ever and I’m enjoying Season 3 much more than the over-complicated Season 2. But there are a few questions still awaiting answers with two episodes remaining (something which “Lost” fans know all too well), like what does Lenny’s father know that will kill his relationship with the Tobin’s? How much does Marilyn really know? And what has Arthur Frobisher’s film storyline got to with anything?


DAMAGES
BBC 1, Wednesday 10:45pm

“You Were His Little Monkey” – 10/10

The penultimate episode of the season was gave us plenty of answers and a teasing glimpse of next weeks’ conclusion.

Tom is spiralling out of control. Patty has found out about his involvement in the Tobin scandal and he’s had to resign from Hewes & Shayes & Associates. Then his wife kicked him out and he begun doing a deal with Lenny (always risky!). On top of this, he’s still really chummy with the tramp. Is Tom suicidal enough yet? This begs the question that maybe he was pushed off the bridge to his death? Just a thought.

So we found out what Lenny’s dad has been blackmailing him about. Lenny isn’t actually a lawyer. He took the identity of a law student who died soon after graduation, and meddled his way into the Tobin family. When Joe discovers this (thanks to Ellen & her journo boyfriend), he gets angry. Lenny tells him that Lewis knew he wasn’t a lawyer, and he’s still part of the family. Joe wasn’t convinced. Stuart Zedeck was also on the receiving end of a furious Joe Tobin, but Zedeck doesn’t seem like the kinda guy you should piss off.

Arthur Frobisher’s hint that he’d had people killed left actor Terry Brooke to ask Patty if it was true. Patty and Ellen (now best buds again) took it to Ellen’s boss Gates. Gates had done some research into Frobisher’s handyman, who we know killed David. A photo proved that Ellen’s (other) ex Wes was the accomplice to David’s murderer. Finally Frobisher’s involvement in this season has been worthwhile, and it feels the series is coming full circle. Hopefully next week’s finale will give us all the answers and enough to convince the US networks to GIVE US ANOTHER SEASON!

PS – I’m still waiting for Joe to find out he’s Tessa Marchetti’s father.

Are you a Gleek?!

MONDAY 17th MAY 2010



GLEE
E4, Monday 9pm

“Laryngitis” – 9/10

What a FUNNY episode! The Glee world was totally tipped on its’ head this week. Rachel lost her voice, Kurt became ‘straight’ and Puck dated Mercedes!

So Puck is making his way round the Glee club girls like there’s no tomorrow, and this week sets his sights on the new ‘Ms Popular’ Mercedes (to boost his flagging popularity). Needless to say it doesn’t last, but at least their relationship wasn’t a short at Kurt and Brittany’s. Yes, that’s right, Kurt wanted to bond with his Dad, and after a chat with Sue (see below – it’s side-splitting stuff) began to sing rock songs and try kissing girls. As Kurt was the only guy in school Brittany hadn’t kissed, the relationship began, and then soon ended when Kurt decided to go back to being his old self.

Here’s some of the dialogue from the best scene of the episode (Sue’s chat with Kurt):

KURT: And I’m afraid that I might be losing him because of… my… sexuality.
SUE: Your sexuality. How old are you, 16? Have you even kissed a boy?
KURT: No.
SUE: Have you ever kissed a girl?
KURT: No.
SUE: Well, then how can you possibly know what you like? You see, that’s the problem with your generation. You’re obsessed with labels. So you like show tunes! Doesn’t mean you’re gay. It just means you’re awful.

SUE: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.
KURT: (smiles) Me.
SUE: No. Me. Sue Sylvester.

SUE: Yeah, you know what? I checked out of this conversation about a minute back. So, uh, good luck with your troubles, and I’m gonna make a habit not to stop and talk to students, ’cause this has been a colossal waste of my time.

Genius.

From a song perspective, there weren’t many faults (bar Rachel’s version of “The Climb”). Finn’s opening number “Jessie’s Girl” was worth rocking out too, Puck & Mercedes duetting on “The Lady Is A Tramp” was inspired and Rachel’s finale of “One” was tugged at the heartstrings. But the highlight was definitely Mercedes and Santana’s cover of the 90s R&B classic “The Boy Is Mine”, whilst sing-fighting over Puck’s affections. This song made me wonder whether the writers find the songs to fit this storylines or if they construct the storylines around the songs. I think it was the latter in this case.

Although Brittany’s lines are still amusing, none have come quite up to the standard of “Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” line from “Hello”. Even Finn made me chuckle with his line about Rachel being a ‘vocal cripple’ and Puck got a good one in about his hair and Andre Agassi. But jokes were spread thin towards the end of the episode as we were covered in a thick layer of heartfelt meaning, with Finn’s paralysed friend Sean duetting with Rachel and proving to her that you can do more in life that what you are best at. Although this was a nice touch, give me Sue Sylvester put-downs over genuine emotion any day of the week.


30 ROCK
Comedy Central, Monday 10pm

“Klaus & Greta” – 8/10

Guest stars come and go in “30 Rock” and tonight we were truly spoiled. James Franco’s appearance is up there with Steve Martin’s guest role in Season 3, only this time the guest star was playing ‘himself’. Creating a fake relationship with Jenna was always going to be fun, but laughs start rolling when we discover the reason behind Franco’s fake relationship; he is in love with a human sized pillow. Oh yes. Only on “30 Rock”.

The episode began and it was New Year 2010 (I can’t believe we’ve almost caught up with US pace!) and Jack had left an embarrassing voicemail on Nancy Donovan’s (Julianne Moore) telephone, causing him and Kenneth to make a visit to her home to delete it. Whilst Liz’s recently ‘out’ cousin Randy comes to stay with her (after Liz drunkenly ‘outed’ him at New Year’s). Bar the James Franco/Jenna storyline (Jenna: “They’re calling us ‘James’, which is a combination of James & Jenna”), the other strands of the episode were average in comparison, hence my 8/10 mainly being for Franco’s genius performance.

“Black Light Attack!” – 9/10

Danny is dating someone working on the show and Jack is keen to find out. After picking up a few hints, he discovers (by ultraviolet light – v funny) that it’s LIZ! Yes our Liz Lemon. Then a battle over Danny pursues. He’s the only ‘real man’ on the show for Jack to see sports with, whereas Liz just wants, well, a man. Any story where Jack & Liz fight each other always leads to comedy gold, and in this instance, it’s no different.

Jenna has an audition to play a college student who falls out with her ‘ageing wannabe actress’ mother. Pete notices the script has the mum’s lines highlighted, Jenna replies, “That’s so I know which lines not to read.” Cue an embarrassing audition, lots of tears and a surprising epiphany. Jenna’s death scene as the mum gets a round of applause, she realises playing older character has credibility.

The only thing stopping me giving this ep 10/10 was the Tracy narrative, where he takes Sue in as his ‘surrogate’ daughter. Excluding the affectionate montage, this just wasn’t all that funny. Shame.


FLASH FORWARD
Five, Monday 9pm

“The Negotiation” - 7/10

A solid, if unspectacular episode this week. The recurring role of Gabriel is interesting, but I can’t help thinking that we learnt nothing more from him this episode, sadly. Although the story with Aaron and Tracy has been compelling in the past, it now seems to be an annoying side note away from the bigger picture of the series. In saying that, I have faith in the writers and hope that they do bring Jericho/Tracy plot into the main narrative.

The highlight of this episode was the scene where Benford’s discovered that Janis is working as a double agent for the FBI and the CIA. The look on Benford’s face was disbelief that the lies had been going on for years and they argued quite a lot. Janis then told Demetri, the father of her child, and they argued quite a bit too. But it was good stuff.
Speaking of Demetri, it still doesn’t look good for him. He’s now nearer danger being involved with Janis’s personal life, and could well be a target for the fish-shop lady. With the day of the blackout inching ever closer, Demetri really needs to get on that plane to Hawaii with Zoey!

Finally, this week ABC announced “Flash Forward” has been axed. We’d better enjoy the next 2 episodes, as they’ll be the last EVER!


THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW
BBC1, Monday 10:35pm

Mix together Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Minnie Driver, Ruth Jones and a piano – what do you get? Laughs-a-plenty and the stand out moment of this series. Ruth Jones and Minnie Driver started to improvise to Lloyd-Webber’s constantly changing music. Something we need to see more of on TV! YouTube it NOW!

The Simpsons has still got it!

THURSDAY 13th to SUNDAY 16th MAY 2010



THE SIMPSONS
Sky1, Thursday 7:30pm

“Million Dollar Maybe” – 9/10

Homer’s fortune cookie tells him that he will have a run of good luck. So Homer queues up to buy a lottery ticket, whilst poor Marge is waiting at a wedding from him to turn up for their duet. Of course, Homer misses the wedding (after crashing his car trying not to be late) and his good luck come through as his wins the lottery. One problem, Marge knows the winning ticket was bought at the exact time she was performing at the wedding, therefore Homer must keep his win secret. After letting Barney claim the money, Homer realises he needs to spend the money slowly so he doesn’t provoke suspicion, and gradually spends the money on gifts for the family (including a private Coldplay gig – very funny). Bart soon catches on about the money and blackmails Homer to be his slave. Eventually Homer gives up and comes clean to Marge, on a hot air balloon ride – she’s not bothered, as long as they have each other. Ahhhh.

The B-String storyline involved Lisa buying the Old Folks a ‘Funtendo Zii’ (complete with Funtendo Zii Sports). They love playing on it, but this means that the staff working with them have to work twice as hard, so they put the Funtendo Zii in the dishwasher.
Mr Burns grabs the best line of the episode whilst playing a war game on the Funtendo Zii, “Wait, I’m shooting at Nazi’s? That’s not how I remember it!”

The main story is what’s at the heart of “The Simpsons”; Homer messes up, tries to redeem himself, Marge forgives him for trying. What I enjoyed most about this episode, was the fact Homer actually got lucky, won big on the lottery and then was not able to share his winnings with his family. The narrative with Lisa and the Old Folks was fun to watch too, having endured a similar experience with my grandparents and Wii Sports. Overall, it felt like an episode that could easily have dropped into Season 7 or 8, and proves that despite what some people say; “The Simpsons” can still produce classic episodes after 21 seasons.


DOCTOR WHO
BBC1, Saturday (used-to-be-7pm-but-now-whenever-they-feel-like-it)

“Amy’s Choice” – 8/10

Is this a dream? Or am I awake? Something we’ve all asked ourselves in the past. Only in “Doctor Who” this week, it was real. Or was it?

The Doctor rocks up at Amy & Rory’s cottage five years from now, and she’s pregnant. After walking around the sleepy village, they enjoy listening to the sound of the birds chirping and promptly doze off to sleep. Only to wake up on the TARDIS in 2010, all saying they had a dream; the same dream. Cue birds chirping, and they fall asleep and awake back in Leadworth. Basically one is a dream and one is reality, they need to choose which.

So, so pleased that “Doctor Who” is back on top form this week, with a twisty tale and a great character in the Dream Lord. He was the one who made Amy choose, The Doctor or Rory, tough call. The emotion we saw from Amy when Rory was turned to dust in the ‘future’ dream was the first genuine affection we’ve seen from Ms Pond. This caused Amy to choose Rory over the Doctor, a key moment in the series.

Of course it turned out that BOTH realities were dreams after the Doctor found some psychic pollen in the TARDIS, which caused them all to fall asleep. As for the Dream Lord, he was just the dark side of the Doctor, causing the pollen to create him in human form. A truly brilliant episode.


OUTNUMBERED
BBC1, Thursday 9:30pm – 8/10

Angela is back (yay), complete with new American husband Brick – who is a therapist. Pete has kissed another woman, “who’s fatter and older than I am” according to Sue, who was not happy. Throw in a family dinner and you get another fun episode of this great comedy.

The highlights this week were (obviously) Sue v Angela ‘Round 382’, where we saw Angela as a ‘great’ mother to Brick’s children (who have clearly been brought up in America’s “I’ll sue you” society). This is surprising since she didn’t want kids as Sue pointed out, providing Angela with the catty response, “I didn’t want kids like yours”. Ouch.

After Ben’s announcement in front of the family (and the poor waitress) that Pete had kissed another woman, Brick took it upon himself to try and psycho-analyse Pete. This obviously did not go down well with ‘Hugh Grant’ (Brick’s nickname for Pete), but luckily Karen saved the day by successfully questioning all of Brick’s theories, much to his annoyance!

Last episode next week, boooooo! Thankfully I have my Series 1 & 2 DVDs to turn if I miss it.


MODERN FAMILY
Sky1, Thursday 8pm

“Benched” – 6/10

Sadly “Modern Family” wasn’t that good this week. Then the second episode was a repeat of “Not In My House”. That sucks.

We dropped in on Manny & Luke’s basketball team performing terribly under their coach, who soon quit to give the job to Jay. Jay was just as bad, but Phil was better – only it took him a while to convince his father in law that he was right.

Gloria & Claire bond over rejection from their kids and buy Lily plenty of new clothes. Claire got her own back on Alex (in front of her cool friends) in the best scene of the week, “Alex, don’t forget to buy a training bra for your boobies that will grow soon!”

Finally after lots of tears from Cameron (who wanted to be a home Dad again – very funny) Mitchell had a job interview, which involved visiting a house with a revolving plate to remove the need to reverse out of the garage. Cue Mitchell and Cameron stuck in the garage pressing buttons, and one severely crunched up car on the driveway.


TOTAL WIPEOUT
BBC1, Saturday teatime – 7/10

It was the grand finale of this amazing game show! I’m sure you’ve all seen it (if you haven’t WHY NOT?) but when you have the best of the best competing to be series champion, you know it’s gonna be great TV. What made the finale even better was the 3 competitors in the final were all runners-up in their respective heats, so we ended up with a real life CSI winning the overall title. Hurrah!

PLEASE BBC bring us another new series soon! (And another celebrity one whilst we wait!)


BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT
ITV1, Saturday 8pm – 4/10

Got a lil fed up with BGT this week. We had even more dance groups (yawn) and some more singers (double yawn) including a 16-year-old lad who think he’s amazing, when really he was just average. He warbled on the notes far too much and won’t stand a chance of winning.

Luckily, the best act did come last in this episode. The impressionist Paul Burling was brilliant. Fact. How many cartoon characters can he do in a minute?! Along with his great Harry Hill act, this guy is actually quite ‘normal’ which surely means his chances of winning are slim.

MAGIC MONDAYS!

MONDAY 10th MAY




30 ROCK
Comedy Central, Monday 10pm

“DealBreakers Talk Show” – 10/10
Right, this week’s “30 Rock” in a nutshell: Liz becomes Jenna, Frank becomes Liz and Tracy tries to become Whoopi Goldberg. Confused? You should be!

The promo for Liz’s ‘Deal Breakers’ talk show is being filmed and Liz grows an ego (that’s ego not egot – see later). After failing miserably at shooting the promo, and terrifying everyone when she stood in front of the HD camera (which turned Kenneth into a Muppet – sheer brilliance) Liz locked herself in her dressing room. Jack called on Jenna’s expertise in this area for help. Finally, it turned out Liz’s promo was used in the background of some dodgy TV drama.

Tracy bought some new bling with EGOT written on it. EGOT is for someone who has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony award. Tracy visited Whoopi Goldberg (an EGOT) and asked for advice, before trying to nick one of hers! It got me thinking what the British equivalent would be. The best I came up with was B O B NTA (Bafta, Olivier, BRIT and National Television award) – and I don’t think anyone has completed the B O B NTA yet!

Whilst Liz was shooting her promo, Frank was left in charge of the writers. He soon became Liz, right down to her walk, talk and erm cardigan. This definitely provided the most laughs this week, in what has been the highlight of a very entertaining season.

“Secret Santa” - 6/10
Sadly the second of the double-bill (2009 Christmas Special) was not a patch on the first episode, or even on Season 3’s Christmas special.
We saw Jack and Liz trying to get each other better presents, Jack fall in love with an old school friend Nancy Donovan (played by Julianne Moore), and the only real laughs came from Jenna’s realisation that Danny can sing better than her. I guess one out of two isn’t bad!


GLEE
E4, Monday 9pm

“Bad Reputation” – 8/10

So when the Glee kids put a video on YouTube of Sue Sylvester dancing to Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” – the video becomes an online success and Sue becomes the joke of the school. But, when Sue gets a call from Olivia Newton-John, they end up posting another video online, of Sue & Olivia re-creating the original “Physical” video. This was definitely a highlight of the whole series, Olivia Newton-John was a great sport in her scene with Sue over the phone, emphasising how successful “Physical” was and how many records she’s sold. We need more guest stars like her in Glee.

The rest of the episode (as the title suggests) was about having a bad reputation. An example of which was Emma’s discovery that Will had ‘slept’ with April and kissed the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Needless to say Sue’s influence on this lead to a great scene in the staff room when Emma announced Will’s conquests – the slut.

Rachel had a bad reputation as she came bottom off Quinn’s ‘G-List’ and promptly tried to become more of a slut. Rachel’s hilarious music video for “Run Joey Run”, with Finn, Puck & Jessie (really don’t like this character – why can’t Sue mock his awful hair?!) made the song peak at No.27 in the UK charts this week, which is surprising, as the original didn’t even chart in the UK.

“Total Eclipse Of The Heart” is an epic song. Fact. Throw in a group of love-struck teenagers, competing for each other’s affections and you get a great finish to this week’s “Glee” episode. Roll on next week.


FLASH FORWARD
Five, Monday 9pm

“Course Correction” - 7/10

This episode was written by Robert J. Sawyer who wrote the novel that “Flash Forward” is based on. Overall it was an enjoyable episode, with Demetri’s storyline the most fascinating, whilst the developments between Olivia and Lloyd were expected but still were quite surprising when they did finally kiss. Simon’s sister Annabelle being saved by Mark seemed a little rushed and as ever the Bryce/Nicole/Keiko narrative got in the way of the important issues, when Nicole chose not to tell Bryce she’d seen Keiko at the hospital.

Demetri’s narrative for this week involved the return of Agent Fiona Banks played by Alex Kingston - who after her recent exploits in “Doctor Who”, is quickly becoming ‘Queen of the Guest Star’. Their storyline surrounded Celia, who former FBI Agent Al Young was supposed to kill in a car accident (but he committed suicide to save her life). Demetri and Fiona were trying to track down a man who is murdering those who should’ve died by the day of the blackout. When he attempts to kill Celia, the Agent’s try to protect her, but ultimately Fiona accidentally runs poor Celia over (as predicted) and she dies. Does this now mean that either Demetri or Fiona have taken on Al’s timeline? A very intriguing development.


CORONATION STREET
ITV1, Monday 7:30pm to 9pm – 6/10

I don’t often watch Corrie, but I had to tune in to see the funeral of my favourite character: Blanche. The first episode focussed on the service and Deirdre discovered just how much her mum meant to everyone. However Blanche was soon forgotten in the second episode when the spotlight turned to Tracy’s return.

Luckily sandwiched between the two episodes was “Farewell Blanche” – a look back at the character and some of her best lines, “You look chipper, trod on snail?” to Tracy was probably one of the best! I’ll leave you with one of Blanche’s most recent quotes, but my personal favourite:

Blanche [to Grandson Simon]: Like Postman Pat, do you? So long as you remember it's a work of fiction. 'Early in the morning, when the day is dawning?' Your real Postman Pat rolls up around noon wearing a pair of shorts and his breakfast. And, if he's not chucking elastic bands like confetti, he'll be rifling through your birthday cards for ready cash, or leaving your valuables out on the step.

Nowt but propaganda, is this! And as for Mrs Goggins, she'd be cowering behind three-inch glass with a baseball bat under the counter... assuming that her post office hasn't been shut down, of course.