Patty is seriously DAMAGED

My special blog on the awesome US drama "DAMAGES"!

DAMAGES
BBC 1, Wednesday 10:45pm

“

All That Crap About Your Family” – 9/10

So with only two episodes left after this week, we are hurtling towards the season finale.
In this weeks’ story we saw the twisted relationship between Patty and Ellen hit rock bottom, in a tense scene where Patty disowns her former protégée. This was great to watch, Glenn Close can play ‘complicated-and-screwed-up’ very well and the look on Ellen’s face when Patty rants on about, “all that crap about your family” is a look of genuine ‘where is this coming from?’ The whole incident causes Patty to remove her latest protégée Alex Benjamin from her empire.

Tom and Patty sent Tessa Marchetti to Antigua to gather the forms she signs which give her access to the Tobin’s money. Lenny urges Marilyn Tobin to tell her son Joe that he is Tessa’s father and not Lewis, but we can tell Marilyn isn’t going to. Both these events lead the murder of Tessa Marchetti in Antigua, at the order of a clueless Joe Tobin and the devious Marilyn Tobin, who is becoming more and more involved as each week passes by. The look on Tessa’s face when she finds Patty’s bodyguard dead and turns around to see a man holding a gun is truly heartbreaking, with cries of, “Oh please no!” is why “Damages” is such good television.

Other revelations in this episode included Leonard Winstone’s father continuing to blackmail his son, with some information yet to be revealed to the Tobin’s or the viewers. Ellen’s dreams regarding a woman who she began to think was her birth mother, turned out to be the woman who was going to adopt her, after Ellen’s parents worked through some serious issues when Ellen was a child.

OK, so this is one of the best TV series ever and I’m enjoying Season 3 much more than the over-complicated Season 2. But there are a few questions still awaiting answers with two episodes remaining (something which “Lost” fans know all too well), like what does Lenny’s father know that will kill his relationship with the Tobin’s? How much does Marilyn really know? And what has Arthur Frobisher’s film storyline got to with anything?


DAMAGES
BBC 1, Wednesday 10:45pm

“You Were His Little Monkey” – 10/10

The penultimate episode of the season was gave us plenty of answers and a teasing glimpse of next weeks’ conclusion.

Tom is spiralling out of control. Patty has found out about his involvement in the Tobin scandal and he’s had to resign from Hewes & Shayes & Associates. Then his wife kicked him out and he begun doing a deal with Lenny (always risky!). On top of this, he’s still really chummy with the tramp. Is Tom suicidal enough yet? This begs the question that maybe he was pushed off the bridge to his death? Just a thought.

So we found out what Lenny’s dad has been blackmailing him about. Lenny isn’t actually a lawyer. He took the identity of a law student who died soon after graduation, and meddled his way into the Tobin family. When Joe discovers this (thanks to Ellen & her journo boyfriend), he gets angry. Lenny tells him that Lewis knew he wasn’t a lawyer, and he’s still part of the family. Joe wasn’t convinced. Stuart Zedeck was also on the receiving end of a furious Joe Tobin, but Zedeck doesn’t seem like the kinda guy you should piss off.

Arthur Frobisher’s hint that he’d had people killed left actor Terry Brooke to ask Patty if it was true. Patty and Ellen (now best buds again) took it to Ellen’s boss Gates. Gates had done some research into Frobisher’s handyman, who we know killed David. A photo proved that Ellen’s (other) ex Wes was the accomplice to David’s murderer. Finally Frobisher’s involvement in this season has been worthwhile, and it feels the series is coming full circle. Hopefully next week’s finale will give us all the answers and enough to convince the US networks to GIVE US ANOTHER SEASON!

PS – I’m still waiting for Joe to find out he’s Tessa Marchetti’s father.

Are you a Gleek?!

MONDAY 17th MAY 2010



GLEE
E4, Monday 9pm

“Laryngitis” – 9/10

What a FUNNY episode! The Glee world was totally tipped on its’ head this week. Rachel lost her voice, Kurt became ‘straight’ and Puck dated Mercedes!

So Puck is making his way round the Glee club girls like there’s no tomorrow, and this week sets his sights on the new ‘Ms Popular’ Mercedes (to boost his flagging popularity). Needless to say it doesn’t last, but at least their relationship wasn’t a short at Kurt and Brittany’s. Yes, that’s right, Kurt wanted to bond with his Dad, and after a chat with Sue (see below – it’s side-splitting stuff) began to sing rock songs and try kissing girls. As Kurt was the only guy in school Brittany hadn’t kissed, the relationship began, and then soon ended when Kurt decided to go back to being his old self.

Here’s some of the dialogue from the best scene of the episode (Sue’s chat with Kurt):

KURT: And I’m afraid that I might be losing him because of… my… sexuality.
SUE: Your sexuality. How old are you, 16? Have you even kissed a boy?
KURT: No.
SUE: Have you ever kissed a girl?
KURT: No.
SUE: Well, then how can you possibly know what you like? You see, that’s the problem with your generation. You’re obsessed with labels. So you like show tunes! Doesn’t mean you’re gay. It just means you’re awful.

SUE: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.
KURT: (smiles) Me.
SUE: No. Me. Sue Sylvester.

SUE: Yeah, you know what? I checked out of this conversation about a minute back. So, uh, good luck with your troubles, and I’m gonna make a habit not to stop and talk to students, ’cause this has been a colossal waste of my time.

Genius.

From a song perspective, there weren’t many faults (bar Rachel’s version of “The Climb”). Finn’s opening number “Jessie’s Girl” was worth rocking out too, Puck & Mercedes duetting on “The Lady Is A Tramp” was inspired and Rachel’s finale of “One” was tugged at the heartstrings. But the highlight was definitely Mercedes and Santana’s cover of the 90s R&B classic “The Boy Is Mine”, whilst sing-fighting over Puck’s affections. This song made me wonder whether the writers find the songs to fit this storylines or if they construct the storylines around the songs. I think it was the latter in this case.

Although Brittany’s lines are still amusing, none have come quite up to the standard of “Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” line from “Hello”. Even Finn made me chuckle with his line about Rachel being a ‘vocal cripple’ and Puck got a good one in about his hair and Andre Agassi. But jokes were spread thin towards the end of the episode as we were covered in a thick layer of heartfelt meaning, with Finn’s paralysed friend Sean duetting with Rachel and proving to her that you can do more in life that what you are best at. Although this was a nice touch, give me Sue Sylvester put-downs over genuine emotion any day of the week.


30 ROCK
Comedy Central, Monday 10pm

“Klaus & Greta” – 8/10

Guest stars come and go in “30 Rock” and tonight we were truly spoiled. James Franco’s appearance is up there with Steve Martin’s guest role in Season 3, only this time the guest star was playing ‘himself’. Creating a fake relationship with Jenna was always going to be fun, but laughs start rolling when we discover the reason behind Franco’s fake relationship; he is in love with a human sized pillow. Oh yes. Only on “30 Rock”.

The episode began and it was New Year 2010 (I can’t believe we’ve almost caught up with US pace!) and Jack had left an embarrassing voicemail on Nancy Donovan’s (Julianne Moore) telephone, causing him and Kenneth to make a visit to her home to delete it. Whilst Liz’s recently ‘out’ cousin Randy comes to stay with her (after Liz drunkenly ‘outed’ him at New Year’s). Bar the James Franco/Jenna storyline (Jenna: “They’re calling us ‘James’, which is a combination of James & Jenna”), the other strands of the episode were average in comparison, hence my 8/10 mainly being for Franco’s genius performance.

“Black Light Attack!” – 9/10

Danny is dating someone working on the show and Jack is keen to find out. After picking up a few hints, he discovers (by ultraviolet light – v funny) that it’s LIZ! Yes our Liz Lemon. Then a battle over Danny pursues. He’s the only ‘real man’ on the show for Jack to see sports with, whereas Liz just wants, well, a man. Any story where Jack & Liz fight each other always leads to comedy gold, and in this instance, it’s no different.

Jenna has an audition to play a college student who falls out with her ‘ageing wannabe actress’ mother. Pete notices the script has the mum’s lines highlighted, Jenna replies, “That’s so I know which lines not to read.” Cue an embarrassing audition, lots of tears and a surprising epiphany. Jenna’s death scene as the mum gets a round of applause, she realises playing older character has credibility.

The only thing stopping me giving this ep 10/10 was the Tracy narrative, where he takes Sue in as his ‘surrogate’ daughter. Excluding the affectionate montage, this just wasn’t all that funny. Shame.


FLASH FORWARD
Five, Monday 9pm

“The Negotiation” - 7/10

A solid, if unspectacular episode this week. The recurring role of Gabriel is interesting, but I can’t help thinking that we learnt nothing more from him this episode, sadly. Although the story with Aaron and Tracy has been compelling in the past, it now seems to be an annoying side note away from the bigger picture of the series. In saying that, I have faith in the writers and hope that they do bring Jericho/Tracy plot into the main narrative.

The highlight of this episode was the scene where Benford’s discovered that Janis is working as a double agent for the FBI and the CIA. The look on Benford’s face was disbelief that the lies had been going on for years and they argued quite a lot. Janis then told Demetri, the father of her child, and they argued quite a bit too. But it was good stuff.
Speaking of Demetri, it still doesn’t look good for him. He’s now nearer danger being involved with Janis’s personal life, and could well be a target for the fish-shop lady. With the day of the blackout inching ever closer, Demetri really needs to get on that plane to Hawaii with Zoey!

Finally, this week ABC announced “Flash Forward” has been axed. We’d better enjoy the next 2 episodes, as they’ll be the last EVER!


THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW
BBC1, Monday 10:35pm

Mix together Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Minnie Driver, Ruth Jones and a piano – what do you get? Laughs-a-plenty and the stand out moment of this series. Ruth Jones and Minnie Driver started to improvise to Lloyd-Webber’s constantly changing music. Something we need to see more of on TV! YouTube it NOW!

The Simpsons has still got it!

THURSDAY 13th to SUNDAY 16th MAY 2010



THE SIMPSONS
Sky1, Thursday 7:30pm

“Million Dollar Maybe” – 9/10

Homer’s fortune cookie tells him that he will have a run of good luck. So Homer queues up to buy a lottery ticket, whilst poor Marge is waiting at a wedding from him to turn up for their duet. Of course, Homer misses the wedding (after crashing his car trying not to be late) and his good luck come through as his wins the lottery. One problem, Marge knows the winning ticket was bought at the exact time she was performing at the wedding, therefore Homer must keep his win secret. After letting Barney claim the money, Homer realises he needs to spend the money slowly so he doesn’t provoke suspicion, and gradually spends the money on gifts for the family (including a private Coldplay gig – very funny). Bart soon catches on about the money and blackmails Homer to be his slave. Eventually Homer gives up and comes clean to Marge, on a hot air balloon ride – she’s not bothered, as long as they have each other. Ahhhh.

The B-String storyline involved Lisa buying the Old Folks a ‘Funtendo Zii’ (complete with Funtendo Zii Sports). They love playing on it, but this means that the staff working with them have to work twice as hard, so they put the Funtendo Zii in the dishwasher.
Mr Burns grabs the best line of the episode whilst playing a war game on the Funtendo Zii, “Wait, I’m shooting at Nazi’s? That’s not how I remember it!”

The main story is what’s at the heart of “The Simpsons”; Homer messes up, tries to redeem himself, Marge forgives him for trying. What I enjoyed most about this episode, was the fact Homer actually got lucky, won big on the lottery and then was not able to share his winnings with his family. The narrative with Lisa and the Old Folks was fun to watch too, having endured a similar experience with my grandparents and Wii Sports. Overall, it felt like an episode that could easily have dropped into Season 7 or 8, and proves that despite what some people say; “The Simpsons” can still produce classic episodes after 21 seasons.


DOCTOR WHO
BBC1, Saturday (used-to-be-7pm-but-now-whenever-they-feel-like-it)

“Amy’s Choice” – 8/10

Is this a dream? Or am I awake? Something we’ve all asked ourselves in the past. Only in “Doctor Who” this week, it was real. Or was it?

The Doctor rocks up at Amy & Rory’s cottage five years from now, and she’s pregnant. After walking around the sleepy village, they enjoy listening to the sound of the birds chirping and promptly doze off to sleep. Only to wake up on the TARDIS in 2010, all saying they had a dream; the same dream. Cue birds chirping, and they fall asleep and awake back in Leadworth. Basically one is a dream and one is reality, they need to choose which.

So, so pleased that “Doctor Who” is back on top form this week, with a twisty tale and a great character in the Dream Lord. He was the one who made Amy choose, The Doctor or Rory, tough call. The emotion we saw from Amy when Rory was turned to dust in the ‘future’ dream was the first genuine affection we’ve seen from Ms Pond. This caused Amy to choose Rory over the Doctor, a key moment in the series.

Of course it turned out that BOTH realities were dreams after the Doctor found some psychic pollen in the TARDIS, which caused them all to fall asleep. As for the Dream Lord, he was just the dark side of the Doctor, causing the pollen to create him in human form. A truly brilliant episode.


OUTNUMBERED
BBC1, Thursday 9:30pm – 8/10

Angela is back (yay), complete with new American husband Brick – who is a therapist. Pete has kissed another woman, “who’s fatter and older than I am” according to Sue, who was not happy. Throw in a family dinner and you get another fun episode of this great comedy.

The highlights this week were (obviously) Sue v Angela ‘Round 382’, where we saw Angela as a ‘great’ mother to Brick’s children (who have clearly been brought up in America’s “I’ll sue you” society). This is surprising since she didn’t want kids as Sue pointed out, providing Angela with the catty response, “I didn’t want kids like yours”. Ouch.

After Ben’s announcement in front of the family (and the poor waitress) that Pete had kissed another woman, Brick took it upon himself to try and psycho-analyse Pete. This obviously did not go down well with ‘Hugh Grant’ (Brick’s nickname for Pete), but luckily Karen saved the day by successfully questioning all of Brick’s theories, much to his annoyance!

Last episode next week, boooooo! Thankfully I have my Series 1 & 2 DVDs to turn if I miss it.


MODERN FAMILY
Sky1, Thursday 8pm

“Benched” – 6/10

Sadly “Modern Family” wasn’t that good this week. Then the second episode was a repeat of “Not In My House”. That sucks.

We dropped in on Manny & Luke’s basketball team performing terribly under their coach, who soon quit to give the job to Jay. Jay was just as bad, but Phil was better – only it took him a while to convince his father in law that he was right.

Gloria & Claire bond over rejection from their kids and buy Lily plenty of new clothes. Claire got her own back on Alex (in front of her cool friends) in the best scene of the week, “Alex, don’t forget to buy a training bra for your boobies that will grow soon!”

Finally after lots of tears from Cameron (who wanted to be a home Dad again – very funny) Mitchell had a job interview, which involved visiting a house with a revolving plate to remove the need to reverse out of the garage. Cue Mitchell and Cameron stuck in the garage pressing buttons, and one severely crunched up car on the driveway.


TOTAL WIPEOUT
BBC1, Saturday teatime – 7/10

It was the grand finale of this amazing game show! I’m sure you’ve all seen it (if you haven’t WHY NOT?) but when you have the best of the best competing to be series champion, you know it’s gonna be great TV. What made the finale even better was the 3 competitors in the final were all runners-up in their respective heats, so we ended up with a real life CSI winning the overall title. Hurrah!

PLEASE BBC bring us another new series soon! (And another celebrity one whilst we wait!)


BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT
ITV1, Saturday 8pm – 4/10

Got a lil fed up with BGT this week. We had even more dance groups (yawn) and some more singers (double yawn) including a 16-year-old lad who think he’s amazing, when really he was just average. He warbled on the notes far too much and won’t stand a chance of winning.

Luckily, the best act did come last in this episode. The impressionist Paul Burling was brilliant. Fact. How many cartoon characters can he do in a minute?! Along with his great Harry Hill act, this guy is actually quite ‘normal’ which surely means his chances of winning are slim.

MAGIC MONDAYS!

MONDAY 10th MAY




30 ROCK
Comedy Central, Monday 10pm

“DealBreakers Talk Show” – 10/10
Right, this week’s “30 Rock” in a nutshell: Liz becomes Jenna, Frank becomes Liz and Tracy tries to become Whoopi Goldberg. Confused? You should be!

The promo for Liz’s ‘Deal Breakers’ talk show is being filmed and Liz grows an ego (that’s ego not egot – see later). After failing miserably at shooting the promo, and terrifying everyone when she stood in front of the HD camera (which turned Kenneth into a Muppet – sheer brilliance) Liz locked herself in her dressing room. Jack called on Jenna’s expertise in this area for help. Finally, it turned out Liz’s promo was used in the background of some dodgy TV drama.

Tracy bought some new bling with EGOT written on it. EGOT is for someone who has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony award. Tracy visited Whoopi Goldberg (an EGOT) and asked for advice, before trying to nick one of hers! It got me thinking what the British equivalent would be. The best I came up with was B O B NTA (Bafta, Olivier, BRIT and National Television award) – and I don’t think anyone has completed the B O B NTA yet!

Whilst Liz was shooting her promo, Frank was left in charge of the writers. He soon became Liz, right down to her walk, talk and erm cardigan. This definitely provided the most laughs this week, in what has been the highlight of a very entertaining season.

“Secret Santa” - 6/10
Sadly the second of the double-bill (2009 Christmas Special) was not a patch on the first episode, or even on Season 3’s Christmas special.
We saw Jack and Liz trying to get each other better presents, Jack fall in love with an old school friend Nancy Donovan (played by Julianne Moore), and the only real laughs came from Jenna’s realisation that Danny can sing better than her. I guess one out of two isn’t bad!


GLEE
E4, Monday 9pm

“Bad Reputation” – 8/10

So when the Glee kids put a video on YouTube of Sue Sylvester dancing to Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” – the video becomes an online success and Sue becomes the joke of the school. But, when Sue gets a call from Olivia Newton-John, they end up posting another video online, of Sue & Olivia re-creating the original “Physical” video. This was definitely a highlight of the whole series, Olivia Newton-John was a great sport in her scene with Sue over the phone, emphasising how successful “Physical” was and how many records she’s sold. We need more guest stars like her in Glee.

The rest of the episode (as the title suggests) was about having a bad reputation. An example of which was Emma’s discovery that Will had ‘slept’ with April and kissed the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Needless to say Sue’s influence on this lead to a great scene in the staff room when Emma announced Will’s conquests – the slut.

Rachel had a bad reputation as she came bottom off Quinn’s ‘G-List’ and promptly tried to become more of a slut. Rachel’s hilarious music video for “Run Joey Run”, with Finn, Puck & Jessie (really don’t like this character – why can’t Sue mock his awful hair?!) made the song peak at No.27 in the UK charts this week, which is surprising, as the original didn’t even chart in the UK.

“Total Eclipse Of The Heart” is an epic song. Fact. Throw in a group of love-struck teenagers, competing for each other’s affections and you get a great finish to this week’s “Glee” episode. Roll on next week.


FLASH FORWARD
Five, Monday 9pm

“Course Correction” - 7/10

This episode was written by Robert J. Sawyer who wrote the novel that “Flash Forward” is based on. Overall it was an enjoyable episode, with Demetri’s storyline the most fascinating, whilst the developments between Olivia and Lloyd were expected but still were quite surprising when they did finally kiss. Simon’s sister Annabelle being saved by Mark seemed a little rushed and as ever the Bryce/Nicole/Keiko narrative got in the way of the important issues, when Nicole chose not to tell Bryce she’d seen Keiko at the hospital.

Demetri’s narrative for this week involved the return of Agent Fiona Banks played by Alex Kingston - who after her recent exploits in “Doctor Who”, is quickly becoming ‘Queen of the Guest Star’. Their storyline surrounded Celia, who former FBI Agent Al Young was supposed to kill in a car accident (but he committed suicide to save her life). Demetri and Fiona were trying to track down a man who is murdering those who should’ve died by the day of the blackout. When he attempts to kill Celia, the Agent’s try to protect her, but ultimately Fiona accidentally runs poor Celia over (as predicted) and she dies. Does this now mean that either Demetri or Fiona have taken on Al’s timeline? A very intriguing development.


CORONATION STREET
ITV1, Monday 7:30pm to 9pm – 6/10

I don’t often watch Corrie, but I had to tune in to see the funeral of my favourite character: Blanche. The first episode focussed on the service and Deirdre discovered just how much her mum meant to everyone. However Blanche was soon forgotten in the second episode when the spotlight turned to Tracy’s return.

Luckily sandwiched between the two episodes was “Farewell Blanche” – a look back at the character and some of her best lines, “You look chipper, trod on snail?” to Tracy was probably one of the best! I’ll leave you with one of Blanche’s most recent quotes, but my personal favourite:

Blanche [to Grandson Simon]: Like Postman Pat, do you? So long as you remember it's a work of fiction. 'Early in the morning, when the day is dawning?' Your real Postman Pat rolls up around noon wearing a pair of shorts and his breakfast. And, if he's not chucking elastic bands like confetti, he'll be rifling through your birthday cards for ready cash, or leaving your valuables out on the step.

Nowt but propaganda, is this! And as for Mrs Goggins, she'd be cowering behind three-inch glass with a baseball bat under the counter... assuming that her post office hasn't been shut down, of course.

Election Fever!

Anyone missing the Election? No? OK it’s just me then. For the weeks leading up to and most of the time since the election, our TV screens have been full of things like Nick Robinson’s face. So let’s look back at the 2010 General Election from a TV perspective:


ELECTION SPECIAL

PRE-ELECTION

The first TV debate was brought to us by ITV with Alistair Stewart as the host. An hour and a half was spent with the three leaders stood in what looked like a dodgy 1970’s game show setting. The novelty of the debate soon wore off when we realised no one in the audience was allowed to make any noise or expressive movement – and also that we weren’t going to see a fight (be honest, that’s what you tuned in for). Alistair Stewart spent the evening barking names, “Mr Clegg, Mr Clegg!” followed by “Mr Cameron, Mr Cameron!” etc which would make an ideal dance remix for 'da clubs'. All we really learnt from the evening was that Nick Clegg could look down a lens of a camera and remember people’s names very well.

Sky News broadcast the second TV debate and the host was Adam “Don’t tell me what I think” Boulton*. The set looked like the view of the British Airways parking lot during the volcanic ash cloud and Boulton was randomly sat behind a desk and didn’t really do a whole lot. It could’ve been worse though, we could’ve had Kay Burley. The audience would then not have been in dead silence, as we’d hear cries of, “Sky News is rubbish! Watch the BBC!” (Sky News have really not had the best Election – here’s the YouTube link)
*And if you haven’t seen the ‘almost live punch up’ between Adam “Don’t tell me what I think” Boulton and Alastair Campbell here’s another YouTube link.

Ahhh, Gillian Duffy. The OAP who was on her way to get a loaf of bread one lovely afternoon in Rochdale. She decided to ask Gordon Brown a question and then hours later she was the most famous person to come out of Rochdale in, well, ever. Gordon had left his Sky News (yes them again) live microphone on and we heard him describe Gillian as a bigoted woman. But the big question was, who put Gordon with Gillian, “was it Sue?” he asked. It appears so. I even spotted a Facebook page which read “Don’t you hate it when Sue puts you with that bigoted woman” – which I promptly joined. All of life’s woes are Sue’s fault and not #nickcleggsfault.

The final debate came after the Gillian Duffy scandal and we all wanted to see what Gordon said. He simply said, “There’s a lot to this job. And as you saw yesterday, I do not get all of it right.” BORING! I wanted Clegg & Cameron to lay into him! Anyway, the reliable David Dimbleby was our host (vast improvement on the previous two), in what looked like a Church. We didn’t learn anything new in this debate apart from Nick Clegg could still look down the lens of a camera and remember people’s names just as well as the debate before.

ELECTION NIGHT

For the big night I mainly stuck to the BBC’s broadcast, with their huge election studio and various ‘busy’ people sat at computers. I did drift to ITV occasionally, as they did seem to have a time machine, which gave us the results about 20 minutes before they were announced.

So the BBC gave us some ‘celebs’ on a boat. We saw Joan Collins painfully confess her love for David Cameron, Bruce threw in a few catchphrases and the rest just proved how little they all know about politics. I did feel sorry for Andrew Neil being given the role of interviewing these ‘celebs’, but after seeing the Wizard of Oz themed opening titles to “This Week” – he kinda deserved it.

Back in the studio, David Dimbleby was chairing the evening, with his sidekick Nick Robinson. Emily Maitlis used what appeared to be an over-sized iPad to show us the statistics on the incoming results. Fiona Bruce read the news every now and then, whilst Jeremy Vine wandered up and down some paving slabs, which represented the local constituencies that the Tory’s needed to reach the door of No.10. The best bit was when Vine talked about the current MP’s who weren’t standing and he gave us some digital dominoes to topple! License fee was totally worth it this year.

Alistair ‘Mr Clegg, Mr Clegg!’ Stewart was hosting the ITV coverage whilst Julie Etch-a-sketch stood by a large screen that seemed to present a Labour v Tory Top Trumps game. I’m sure they had other flashy things like the BBC but they must’ve used them around 5am.

Time for the results to start coming in. Sunderland were desperate to announce their seats first, so took a load of students and made them run around with ballot boxes, before passing them in chain-like system. The excitement was almost unbearable - surely this is the way forward for “Deal Or No Deal”. Gradually (in fact painfully slow) the results came through. I got bored and dozed off to sleep around 3.30am and woke up at 11am to see that David Dimbleby was still presenting live television – I really hope he’d had a shower at some point overnight.

Channel 4’s “Alternative Election Night” gave us David Mitchell talking to a few journos about the incoming results, Jimmy Carr presenting his ‘thoughts’ on the stories of the election and the ever-reliable Charlie Brooker gave us some Newswipe & You Have Been Watching goodness. Lauren Laverne was there too. Sandwiched between everything was a “Come Dine With Me” special in which we learnt that Edwina Currie, Rod Liddle, Brian Paddick and Derek Hatton provide a good case for euthanasia rules to be relaxed in the UK. Watching them desperately try to impress the public each other was as fake as Gordon Brown’s natural smile. The night as a whole was entertaining and it seems C4 think so too as they will be doing more of this politics/comedy crossover, which can only be a good thing for us viewers.

POST ELECTION

Although Channel 4’s “Alternative Election Night” was good viewing, the most laughs that week came from quite possibly the funniest episode of “Have I Got News For You”, ever. I chose to watch the extended and much funnier version titled, “Have I Got A Bit More Election News For You” (BBC2, Saturday 8th May 9pm – 10/10) or HIGABMENFY as I choose to call it. They delayed it to a Friday evening broadcast so they could film it on the morning after the results. Of course there was no new Government at that time.

Jo Brand was the host this week; she did well with her dry humour, and coped with Ian Hislop’s questions about her video for the Labour Party. The often-overlooked comedian Jon Richardson was on Ian’s team, until they swapped and Hislop & Merton joined forces, “I might win this week” quipped Hislop. The other panellist was former-cheeky-boy-and-now-former-MP Lembit Opik who was involved in another shocking story too: he was actually quite funny. The highlight being when Hislop directed a joke at Opik and other politicians, to which Opik replied, “I’m not a politician!” Hilarious episode, and I’m so glad we’ve had this show on during the Election.

The live announcement of David Cameron becoming Prime Minister came during “The One Show” (poor Lulu got all dressed up for nowt). Then we saw live footage of David Cameron travelling to Buckingham Palace and being stuck behind a learner driver. Personally, I was hoping that The Queen wasn’t in. Although it was more likely that she’d not been allowed out since election night until they made a decision and then to make it worse, they made her miss “EastEnders” too!

On the latest edition of HIGABMNFY (BBC2, Saturday 15th May 9pm – 9/10), which was the first show with DC as our PM, NC as our DPM and GB as regular old MP, we were treated to Martin Clunes as our playful host (who made plenty of errors in this uncut version). Ian Hislop and Paul Merton needn’t have been there as Julia Hartley-Brewer and Chris Addison provided most of the laughs. In particular Addison’s tirade against journalists throughout the episode, and Hartley-Brewer desperately trying to defend herself! The other highlights of this episode were Gordon Brown’s best bits (they showed a clip of his resignation speech), the revelation that George Osborne used to be Julia’s slave and a hilarious montage of Brown’s gaffes and fake smiles.

And with that we’ve been forced to go all cold turkey on any Election news for now. “Have I Got News For You” only has a couple of episodes left this series, so we’ll have to wait until the Labour Party leadership result is announced (in September, hopefully when Hislop & Merton are back on!) or until Cameron & Clegg screw up the country. Whichever comes first.

TV Summary 6th-8th May 2010 - Doctor Who & more!

Now here is the rest of last weeks TV, complete with marks out of 10!

REST OF THE WEEK - 6th to 8th May 2010

DOCTOR WHO




Saturday night is “Doctor Who” night (BBC1, 6pm – 6/10) and this week we were back to so-so it’s-good-but-not-great territory with “The Vampires Of Venice”. On the back of two scintillating episodes, “The Time Of Angels” and “Flesh And Stone” it was always going to be tough to maintain that high standard without the Weeping Angels, and these vampires (which are really fish?!) just didn’t quite cut it. Despite being written by Toby Whithouse (of “Being Human” success) the episode lacked real tension and concern for the citizens of Venice. However the setting and aesthetics of the episode were second to none. Some great buildings, costumes and props were used to film this episode and “Doctor Who Confidential” (BBC Three, 7pm – 4/10) showed us some of these in great detail. Plus Matt Smith got a trip to Venice, how is that fair!?
Next week’s episode does look to be an absolute corker though, so make sure you don’t miss it and come back here for my thoughts.


OUTNUMBERED

After being pulled off our screens the previous week for the final Leaders’ Debate (I still think having Karen asking the questions would’ve made up for it), the nation rejoiced when Britain’s only genuinely funny sitcom* returned. “Outnumbered” (BBC1, 9.25pm – 7/10) was a in a superstitious mood this week (well Karen was anyway). It wasn’t the funniest episode of the sitcom, the highlights being the pigeon in the kitchen, Karen’s obsession with everything remotely superstitious and Ben’s lovely chat with the pregnant house viewer. I’m looking forward to next weeks’ episode though, with the return of Sue’s sister Angela! Should be good.

*OK it’s the only genuinely funny one airing at the moment, because “Gavin & Stacey” has finished and “The Inbetweeners” isn’t back on yet.


THE SIMPSONS

The latest episode of “The Simpsons” (Sky1, Thursday 7.30pm – 5/10) “The Color Yellow” revolved around Lisa’s quest to trace the Simpson family routes. Most of the Simpson ancestors were not as pleasant as Lisa had expected, until she came across the diary of Eliza Simpson who came to the aid of a slave named Virgil. Until it transpired that Colonel Burns returned to retrieve his slave and Eliza did nothing to stop Burns, which disappointed Lisa. However it turned out that Mabel (Eliza’s mother) threatened Burns and ran away with Virgil to give birth to Lisa’s ancestor Abraham, meaning Bart, Lisa and Maggie are 1/64 Afro-American!

Sadly this episode has not continued the great form of The Simpsons anniversary season, which can already boast instant classics such as, “Thursdays With Abie” and the “Once Upon A Time In Springfield”. This episode felt like we were re-treading old ground as the storyline followed closely to the Season 9 Episode “Lisa The Simpson” – but just not as funny.


MODERN FAMILY

Thursday nights on Sky 1 are just awesome – simply because of brand new Simpsons and the excellent “Modern Family” (Sky1, Thursday 8pm). The first episode of the double bill (“Starry Night” – 6/10) wasn’t really that funny but had its’ highlights with Luke’s ADHD and Van Gogh school project and Cameron’s reaction to the food of Gloria’s ‘people’.

The second episode “Game Changer” (7/10) was almost the birthday from hell for poor Phil. Claire didn’t get him his iPad, Jay, Manny and Gloria were too busy fighting over chess and Mitchell got in a fight (wish we’d seen more of that!). Luckily the iPad Phil so desperately wanted turned up, courtesy of Luke, who’d lied to a fellow iPad customer that his dad was dying of cancer and wanted an iPad before he passed on.
It was a funny episode, as they always are when the whole family come together (see Episode 9 “Fizbo”), but it’s Luke who saved the day and is easily becoming my favourite character on the show. Here’s hoping we get more ensemble episodes before the season ends.


FINALLY...
WOW. I can’t believe what I just saw! Proper hands over eyes moment. What am I talking about? “Britain’s Got Talent” (ITV1, Saturday 8pm – 7/10) and the machete man Hayashi! The whole episode paled in comparison to this amazing act, who along with the gymnasts ‘Spellbound’ and regurgitator Stevie Starr – have to be some of the front-runners in this series. I just hope we don’t end up with a dance act or singer winning again....


That's your lot folks - see you soon for some more Stuff About TV!

30 ROCK ROCKS - TV Summary 03/05/2010

TV Summary Monday 3rd May 2010

OK, so I was off ill most of last week with an ear infection (yippee) and caught up on a lot of TV. So I decided to start a blog about TV, starting with last Monday….

CHRIS’S CHOICE



30 ROCK
(Comedy Central) Double-Bill “The Problem Solvers” (Season 4, Episode 5) – “Sun Tea” (Season 4, Episode 6)

Tucked away on Comedy Central (Channel 132 on Virgin & 126 on Sky in case you didn't know) getting only around 50,000 viewers is this gem of sitcom. For those who’ve never seen the show, it revolves around the production team on an NBC late-night comedy show “TGS” primarily focussing on the writers (lead by Tina Fey’s character Liz Lemon) and its’ management (Alec Baldwin’s brilliant Jack Donaghy).

“The Problem Solvers” (9/10) was a great start to the double bill and provided many laughs from the get go. The team were awaiting their new cast member, when Lutz entered and some thought it was him, “No, I’m Lutz. Worked here for 3 years. Gave you that car I won” - poor Lutz. So when the new cast member arrived we learnt his name was Jack, to which Jack (of the Donaghy variety) informed him he couldn’t have that name and Danny would work better, he had no choice, it stuck. More laughs came upon learning that ‘Danny’ was Canadian and couldn’t say the word ‘about’ without sounding too Canadian. Cue plenty of "abooout", "abuout" and "abouout"s.

Liz’s female empowering ‘Deal Breakers’ book has been selling successfully worldwide, especially in China, where it translates to “Deal breaker, the book for you, man no good by Lesbian Flower Sour Fruit”. Jack has decided to commission a chat show based on the book, presented by Liz. Jenna tells Liz to get an agent and try to sort out a better deal. Of course the agent Liz ends up with usually deals with acting dogs and according to Jack is working on roles for, “Are You Smarter Than A Dog? and I’m A Celebrity Dog Get Me Out Arf Here!”

Also Jenna & Tracy began to go around solving peoples problems and imaginatively chose to name themselves the ‘Problem Solvers’ (complete with T-Shirts) and began giving advice to those who (they thought) needed it. After ‘Danny’ suggested to Kenneth that he does less of his page duties, Kenneth didn’t enjoy being unhelpful and sought the guidance of the ‘Problem Solvers’. It was only when ‘Danny’ informed Jenna & Tracy that Kenneth could one day be their boss, did the 'Problem Solvers' begin to act. In the end Kenneth did end up helping ‘Danny’ after an argument which led the Canadian to say ‘about’ in the correct accent! Hurrah!

This episode had two very strong narrative strands. Jenna & Tracy always work best together as the ‘talent’ on the show, and combined with new boy ‘Danny’ we could have some serious fun with the cast in the coming episodes. Liz’s ‘Deal Breakers’ show looks set to continue as a running trend throughout the season, which is a huge bonus, as it’s going to be pretty funny to see Liz in front of the cameras for once.

The second episode “Sun Tea” (8/10) still had some classic moments, namely Frank’s bottled urine, the return of Dr. Spaceman and a great comic turn from Al Gore. But as the episode centred on NBC’s ‘Green Week’ it didn’t quite translate as well to UK viewers as the first episode this week. That said, joint with ABC’s “Modern Family”, “30 Rock” is still the funniest American sitcom since “Friends” ended 6 years ago. So if you’ve got no excuse not to go and buy Seasons 1, 2 & 3 DVD boxsets and catch up! Go on, do it right now…..

ALSO ON MONDAY

“The Graham Norton Show” (BBC1, 10.45pm – 9/10) was rather enjoyable this week too. The reason Graham’s show works so well is that all the guests share the sofa together, so you get bewildered American A-Listers such as this week’s guest Jennifer Lopez, sitting next to the likes of Alan Davies! Along with the new Doctor Who assistant Karen Gillan on the sofa, the show really provided the laughs when a website produced an image of what an Alan Davies/Jennifer Lopez lovechild would look like, providing viewers with an image they’d never want to see again, until an Alan Davies/Karen Gillan baby was produced. Lopez proved to be a great sport and clearly enjoyed being on the show, Gillan seemed slightly nervy, whereas Davies was on top form and how refreshing it was to see a guest on a chat show who wasn’t promoting anything! Hopefully this chat show will end up filling the slot vacated by the departing Jonathan Ross on Friday nights.

Monday’s “Flash Forward” (Five, 9pm – 8/10) episode was actually rather good. Since returning from its’ mid-season hiatus, when the revelation that seemingly loyal Janis Hawk was the mole in the FBI, the show has regained the pace and thrills it began with. Now in this episode we learn that Janis is in fact a double agent working for CIA Agent Vogel to try an gain information from a mysterious lady working a fish shop (no, seriously, a shop that sells fish) and Janis is really a goodie after all, hurrah!

Also on Monday, E4’s episode of “Glee” (E4, 9pm – 5/10) was, well - a bit rubbish. Despite the hilarious Kristin Chenoweth returning as April, the episode sadly fell a bit flat. Plus, I only knew one of the songs. Hopefully it’ll be back on form next week – or else I’ll turn all Sue Sylvester on it.

So, that was my first TV blog, feel free to leave comments. That is if anyone is actually reading it....I'm slightly wary this was a pointless exercise.